Learning to Respect When It’s Hard

Learning to Respect When It’s Hard

Text: Ephesians 5:33

“...let the wife see that she respects her husband.”


Introduction

Many wives know their husbands deeply — their dreams, struggles, flaws, and fears. Sometimes, this knowledge can help them support and encourage. But for some, it leads to disappointment, criticism, or even disrespect.

Today, God is calling us — as women — to examine our hearts. Are we respecting our husbands the way God desires? Or are we letting his weakness give us permission to dishonor him?

Let’s go deeper into God’s heart for wives.


I. Respect is a Command, Not a Reward

📖 Ephesians 5:33 says:

“...the wife must respect her husband.”

It does not say:

  • “...if he earns it.”

  • “...if he’s perfect.”

  • “...if you feel like it.”

Just as husbands are commanded to love their wives unconditionally, wives are called to respect — even in difficult seasons.

🧠 Why? Because marriage is not based on human effort alone — it’s a picture of Christ and the Church.


II. Why Do We Sometimes Struggle to Respect?

1. We Know Too Much About His Weaknesses

When you know his fears, failures, or mistakes, it can be hard to admire him.
But remember — God sees your weakness too and still honors you with love.

📖 1 Peter 3:1-2 encourages wives to win their husbands without words — by respectful behavior.

2. We’re Hurting and Feel Unseen

You may feel he doesn’t listen, understand, or meet your emotional needs. That hurt, if not healed, becomes bitterness.

🧠 Bitterness often shows up as sarcasm, nagging, or coldness.

3. We Compare Him to Others

Social media, relatives, or even pastors can look better than your husband.
But you don’t know their struggles behind closed doors.

📖 Galatians 6:4 — “Let each one examine his own work…”

4. We’ve Believed the Lies of the World

The world tells women:

“You deserve better.”
“Don’t submit — that’s weakness.”
“Be strong by being dominant.”

But God says:

“Honor your husband — not because he’s perfect, but because I have placed him as your covering.”


III. What Does Real Respect Look Like?

1. Tone of Voice Matters

You may say the right words, but the way you say them either builds or breaks.

📖 Proverbs 15:1 — “A gentle answer turns away wrath…”

2. Support Him in Public

Even if you disagree in private, don’t expose his flaws to others.

📖 Proverbs 31:11 — “Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.”

3. Speak Words That Strengthen

Instead of saying:

“You always fail,” try,
“I believe in you — even when things are hard.”

Your encouragement can revive his spirit.


IV. What If He Doesn’t Deserve Respect?

The question is not: Does he deserve it?
The question is: Will I obey God and trust Him to work in my marriage?

📖 Romans 12:21 — “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”

Respecting your husband doesn’t mean agreeing with sin or being silent in abuse. It means choosing honor — even while addressing problems with wisdom and grace.


V. What Happens When a Wife Respects Her Husband?

  1. His heart opens — men respond deeply to honor.

  2. The home becomes a place of peace.

  3. God is pleased — and begins to work in both hearts.

📖 Proverbs 14:1 — “The wise woman builds her house…”

You are not just a wife — you are a builder.


Conclusion

Sisters, respecting your husband isn’t about him — it’s about God.
When you choose to honor your husband, you invite heaven’s order into your home.

Let us be women who:

  • Encourage, not criticize.

  • Build up, not tear down.

  • Follow God's Word, not the world’s advice.


Closing Scripture

📖 Colossians 3:23

“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.”

Even when your husband doesn’t notice, God sees. And He will reward you.


Call to Prayer

Let’s ask God:

  • To heal any resentment in our hearts.

  • To teach us the language of respect.

  • To restore broken marriages.

  • To make us women of grace, wisdom, and strength.

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